Why do discussions turn into arguments? We don’t consciously choose to start arguments. We usually don’t feel we are to blame for them. They don’t reflect our better self and, afterward, we usually regret some of our behavior. So what goes wrong? Why do we unintentionally slip into such a destructive mental and emotional state? Winning or losing, right or wrong, fair or unfair, victim or instigator – how can we make sense of it all?

Tom Dhanens, PhD is a clinical psychologist who practiced in the Midwest for 45 years. He had an office practice and did hospital and community agency consultations. He was the sole staff neuropsychologist at Trinity Medical Center in Illinois for 30 years, evaluating dementia and CVA patients. Earlier, he was Director of a Community Mental Health Center in Wisconsin. Since retiring to New Mexico, he published, Why Argue? The Psychology of Arguments.